that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She bit a glass in half.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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