p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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