Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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