I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
