I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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