I feel like abortions should bother me more
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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