I want you more than these girls want KFC
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
