first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
