he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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