a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My first STD was from a foam party
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
