He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
