Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
