Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
