I can tuck mytits in my pants
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
