i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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