ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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