So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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