you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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