on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
