Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
