Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
