i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
