Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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