Just mADE A PArabola og urine
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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