I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
