Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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