I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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