last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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