just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
