how can u be prego again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
