I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
how does that bad decision feel?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
