That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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