please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
