just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
