dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
