I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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