You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
