Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
