I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
