You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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