he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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