Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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