i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
