My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Couch. On fire.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
