she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
vagina is talking i cant
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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