dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
