I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
