What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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