She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
