I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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