I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
