even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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