I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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