I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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