If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
