so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you traded sex for a burrito?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Terrible idea I love it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
