i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
