Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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